An accountability journal

Understand The Issue, Define the Problem

(4-28-2023)

I’m almost 40, and in many, many ways, I am so grateful for my life. I survived years of child abuse, and self harm, found the love of my life, and together we bought a home that we can renovate and build the land to suit our needs. I’m very blessed.

But all those years of abuse and depression took their toll. I numbed my pain through a lot of it, with food or timewasters, anything loud and dumb so I wouldn’t have to think. And now I have this life with this body, and it’s not enough.

I am grateful. Please understand I am grateful. But I am holding myself back and I can’t do it anymore.

Ken and I are looking to start a business (technically two businesses), but they are not going to be feasible money makers for at least several months.

And the renovations have caused us to amass some debt. So I took a job in the meantime, and because I work in the school system, if I start a school year, I have to finish it. I will definitely need to restart my school job in the fall (my job training for my new career won’t be finished yet) which means, I will be working at the school until the end of May 2024. At that time, we will launch our new entrepreneurial enterprise, using my new skills from job training.

That means I have thirteen, yes, 13, months to change my life. The ultimate transformation. A total makeover.

Using the life wheel to understand my problem areas, there are several places where my life needs radical improvement, sometimes even emergency correction. The big one is my health, but I also need to work on environment, finances, career, and personal development. I am going to put that in its own page. I will link to it too.

This website will be an accountability blog. I will write once a week to set up my goals and plans for the each week,, and also reflect on the week before. I will have a weekly post where I answer the daily question, “How am I going to change my life today?” with three responses. And I will post at least twice a week to document something specific and interesting that I am doing to make all this a reality.

Okay. Let’s get started.

• 21 day fix- day 3
  No smoothie, today, but I did 30 minutes zumba, Spaghetti and a salad for dinner.
• 21 day fix-day 2
  This isnkind of perfect, because it’s the busy month at work, and it’s also the end if the semester, so I am crazy busy right now, and I know I couldn’t add on a real workout at the moment. So I’ll do this, and when it is over, I can make a different plan for… Read more: 21 day fix-day 2
• 21 day fix day 1
  Listening to an anti mlm video on yt, and this is what I hear the 21 day fix from beach body was. 1. One shake a day. 2. Three minute workout every day. 3. Post in a fb group once a day. 4. Make a meal plan and follow it.   I went to look up… Read more: 21 day fix day 1
• Sunday- Plan
  I will get up with my alarm at 6 am. This is the grown up thing to do. This gives me an hour and 20 minutes to exercise,get ready, clean, and meditate, before going to work. Exercise will emphasize strength training, as this is the key to weight loss. I will focus on full body… Read more: Sunday- Plan
• When you jump around, but make (slow) progress anyway.
  So , like with many things, this project goes well for a while and then is abandoned. But many things have been happening in my life, good good things, and my life looks a bit different now than it did at my last update, and is also going to look a lot different in the… Read more: When you jump around, but make (slow) progress anyway.

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