An accountability journal

last night, we went to my sister’s house and did some work, like I said i needed t, but when I came home, after 7 pm, and faced a daunting list of things to do still, I threw in the towel for the night, and even wanted to quit the whole thing.

Seriously.

How sad is that?

On only day four, I was ready to quit my 13-month challenge. But I as in my head. It’s not gonna matter. I’m never going to make it. None of this matters. I’m always going to be a loser and there’s no point in trying to change it.

This spiral is called catastrophizing, I think. Even if I took the night off, there was no real reason to think it needed to destroy the whole plan. It was a small setback; I didn’t need to have a total melt down.

But I am coming to terms with a few things.

A thirteen-month challenge makes sense for a few reasons- I need to lose 130 pounds- and I need to finish work the 2023-2024 school year. So this chunk of time makes sense regarding focusing on the season I am. This is the season I am in, and I’ll pretty much be in it till June 2024.

And while I can get many things done during my 13 months, I have to focus on weight loss. It is the single things that is going to change my life the most. So my three things I dedicate myself to in the morning have to be focused on weight loss. I have to keep it front and center, even while I accomplish other things.

Let’s do this.